You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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