The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
