Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
