my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
