i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
