SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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