We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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