did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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