just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize