i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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