I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional