honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
