I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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