I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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