its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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