So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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