dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Wipe that smile off your face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.