Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.