you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.