glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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