k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My bed smells like the plague
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize