So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize