thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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