Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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