I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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