Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
