Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
