just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if i died would you start the facebook group?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
