carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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