ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
