just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
