brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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