is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
