What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
