if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
