I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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