Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
