Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
