They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
