she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
