I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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