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why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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