you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
