all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
