No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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