She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
