Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
