Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
