When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
