Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
