The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
