his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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