she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just want nice things and good sex
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im part way to drunk.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
