so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
