I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
