Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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