A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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