It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
